I graduated highschool for a reason, and it wasn't to go to college.
Aboriginal bands have taken up arms against the almighty coffee chain for an admitedly stupid prank/joke thing pulled by one of its staff in an Alberta restaurant. Namely, taping a sign to the drive through window that said "No drunken indians allowed.". Now, being part indian, and a *huge* fan of the place–they make damn good coffee and it's on the way to wherever–I just have to ask… what's the problem? Have you *seen* my family? I'd tape that sign up too–and mean it. 
Throw coffee at certain family members and they're strung like nothing else. Mix alcohol? I'd be leaving the room. Really, really quickly. As in, cancel the vacation in Hawaii. I want my sanity back. But… hey, at least we admit we're on some kind of natural crack. Who needs the peace pipe? 
Stuck under family, fubars, oops by James at 1:55 AM
It's only funny because 90% of it is true. Except I used to be on the wrong end of number 2.
You know you're from Ottawa when…You think that 613 is the only area code that exists and HATE having to dial it to call people now
You talk to people from other cities about shawarma and are mystified when they have no clue what the hell you're talking about
There was a point in time (or it is that point in time right now) when you wished you were 18 so you could drive, cab or bus to hull to get alcohol
You've been to "The China Store" in hull
You think Stittsville is the end of the universe
You've spent more then 4 days in one week at Rideau
You've waited 30 minutes for the OC transpo only to realize it came fucking early? Like, what the fuck is that?
You remember when the Scotiabank Place was still the Corel Centre, or better, Palladium
You've partied on Parliament Hill on Canada Day
You remember going on field trips to the museum of science and tech. every year of elementary school
You've travelled and waited for over half an hour just to get into Zak's Diner in the Byward Market
You can spot Spartacat out of a crowd of 19,000 people
A winter without going skating on the Rideau Canal just doesn't seem right
You have an irrational hatred for those ass holes in Toronto and everything they do, have done and will do
You've been to, and therefore fallen asleep at, a lynx game
You've thought that free 67's tickets were the best thing you could ever possible win, ever.
You're bilingual… or at least you can parler Franglais
You eat, sleep and breathe the Super Ex while it's open
You've swam in Mooney's Bay and had to shower for 2 hours afterwards to get that filthy, filthy water off of you
You don't flinch when asked if you want to eat a beavertail
You've been at the top of the peace tower and thought you were amazingly high just because nothing else is allowed to be taller then it
You've cheered for and a year later, booed Alexei Yashin
You remember the Roughriders, and wish the Renegades would come back
You've watched for yourself on Speaker's Corner on CHRO/The NewRO/A-Channel/Channel 6
You've seriously considered swimming in the Rideau Canal on one of those 30+ degree summer days
You remember a time when Patrick Lalime was kinda good
Everyone you know has some sort of story about how Alanis Morissette babysat their cousin's best friend's dog's original owner's son-in-law
You realize that MPs are you local celebrities
You swam in one of those sky blue concrete pools as a kid
You've ever been warned of the dangers of the "South Keys Swarmers"
You've taken the O-Train and wondered exactly why they ever built it
You wonder why Bluesfest is even called Bluesfest. Who knew the Black Eyed Peas could sing the blues?
You remember that Tom Green used to be funny
You know what a Dep is, and only go there for one thing
After just missing the 95, 96 or 97 you complain about waiting for the next one that comes in 5 minutes
You've been to a movie at the World Exchange Plaza, and regretted it for days
You complain about the lack of snow but only a year ago, you were complaining about too much snow
During grade school, you were warned about "The man in the white van."
You have at least one "Woohoo!" towel
You know that the women on Dalhousie Street, aren't just "friendly."
The word Vanier strikes fear into your heart, in fact you duck and cover any time you hear it
You've been to a parade that only consisted of a few emergency vehicles with banners, some people marching, and Kool FM/Hot 89.9 van
The dreaded Ice Storm combined with the teachers' strike made 1998 the best school year ever
You listened to 101.1 XFm, 93.9 KOOL FM and remember when the New Hot 89.9 was still new
You're pretty sure that the corner of Preston and Somerset is the only place in the world where China and Italy touch each other.
You learned French back in grade 1 from Dimoitou et ses amis
The only reason you would ever consider reading the Sun is to see if the Sunshine Girl is hot (don't lie to yourselves)
You remember RJ's Boom Boom Saloon turning into the Liquor Dome, whose days of serving alcohol to minors ended when it turned into Capital City music hall, which after a few David Usher and Massari shows turned into… well, condos.
When you've never been in Place D'Orleans. In fact, no one has ever been in Place D'Orleans, Ottawa or not…
You remember the amazing breakfast at the Golden Griddle before it turned into a Hooters and now some pub or something
You've ever heard someone at school yell "shag" or "shawg" or however the hell it's spelled
The Sens earned you some free pizza
You ever go out of town and the headlines report "Local Group Protest's Ottawa's Decision." Hold on, guys! Don't blame the whole city!
You hear the Tulip Festival is coming and can't wait to see the concert line up! …Queen of the Netherlands? Who the hell is that?
You've been thanked for your garbage in a shopping mall
You've been cut off in traffic by a car only to realize they had a Quebec plate.
You've gone to Herongate Mall only to realize you need to kill more than 8 minutes.
You actually know who the Capital Prophets were.
You constantly complain about the lack of good bands that come to town because they always skip from Toronto to Montreal.
You're fucking pumped for the Stanley Cup final! Go Sens Go!
Yes, go. Go very far, far away. And take the Canadians with you.
Stuck under Ottawa, random crap by James at 1:26 AM
Lady on oxygen dies after power to her house is cut? Are people really that stupid? And, as if that wasn't stupidity in and of itself, the idiot who turned off this lady's power apparently saw the breathing machine she was using. She died within 2 hours of the power being cut. I mean, I can understand wanting their bill to be paid up, but c'mon. Nothing says "Pay us or we'll kill you" quite like just outright killing her for being behind on a payment or two. On the bright side, they restored power to the place the next day. That was quite thoughtful of them, no?
Stuck under fubars, rantings by James at 5:02 PM
I've heard a hell of a lot of stupid crap lately, but… um, this takes the freaking cake. I'm sorry, but… a water pipe? A freaking water pipe? I understand it's an African idea/tradition/whatever, but… a water pipe? Really, that's gotta come close to people who find new ways to do crack. I'm not a smoker, but methinks I'd start before I thought about giving that a try. Kinda reminds me of a bong party without the weed. Not that I've been to one, but who's counting? Ridiculous, moronic, guaranteed to kill ya… no wonder it's becoming popular in the western world. Now confirming: 7 out of 10 people are idiots.
Stuck under fubars, oops, rantings by James at 7:12 PM
So it took me a small eternity to fiind the hole all of that precious comment spam was sneaking through. And now that I did, I feel really, really, really stupid. But, also now that I did, said hole has hopefully been plugged. Further plugging forthcoming. In the meantime, I shall now begin the rather lengthy process of cleaning up. Oh joy of joys. So if the 2.5 people who read this start wondering why there hasn't been a post in a while, I'm probably still over my head in spam. Either that, or I've found the source of said spam and am presently in the process of brutally murdering it–hey, it's entirely possible. Don't count it out 'til you try it.
Stuck under fubars by James at 5:20 AM
The teenagers complaining about the bus not being here now, now, now take a back seat suddenly when compared with my latest discovery on my way to work tonight–the grandpa who actually calls the control station for the city buses to complain because one of the doors to the shelter at the stop we both just happen to be waiting at is locked. His reason? "We shouldn't have to walk around to the other door. clearly you can't see, so you must understand that." Uh, let's see… I'm lazy. That's the only reason I was inclined to agree with him in the first place. But, of course… it ain't gonna happen. Why? Because as lazy as I am, I'll walk around the freaking shelter–which, by the way, isn't that big to begin with–before I pick up a phone to bitch about one door being locked. I pointed out to the fool, rather politely I'll add, that in about 10 minutes when the bus showed up it wasn't going to make a difference to him. His response? "The way I see it, I'm doing a service to the public." And the way I see it, you've just wasted brain cells. And some poor soul at the control station's time. Gotta love it. Except… now, you just made yourself look stupid. Which… I guess is what he was aiming at. Figures.
Stuck under Ottawa, fubars, rantings by James at 2:22 AM
I haven't done one of these in a while. Sue me.
Your Life is Better Than 76% of All People You really have things pretty good - so stop a minute and appreciate how great your life is.
You likely have a cheery outlook, supportive friends, and plenty to keep you happily busy.
You are usually content - and with good reason. You have a lot to be happy about.
So when things don't go well, remember that you have it better than most people!
Stuck under quizes by James at 9:30 PM
So I'm standing at the bus stop on my way to work tonight, and sure enough, I think those same people were there tonight who were a couple weeks back. I kinda recognised the voices, anyway… at least a couple of 'em. And again, they were complaining because the bus just so happened not to be there when *they* wanted it to be. They had to be not much younger than me, but seriously, I've seen more patient/grown-up 6-year-olds. Quarter to 8 in the evening is not the time to start complaining because the bus isn't here when it shows up at 5 *after* 8 in the evening, oh people of much brilliance (read: morons of the year 2007). Bah. I never thought I'd look forward to getting off the bus and coming to work… but guess what? I was. Thanks a lot, brats. Here's the wambulance's phone number.
Stuck under Dell, Ottawa, rantings by James at 1:45 AM
I thought I at one point had a CD burning program on my machine that *wasn't* Windows Media Player. It turns out I was wrong. Or I did and it was mysteriously removed. Either way, if anyone's got a suggestion for one, it'd be awesomely awesome. Preferably free, preferably decent. But I'd prefer decent more than free. email or comment with suggestions. Payment shall be… something. I'll figure it out later.
Stuck under In search of... by James at 9:14 PM
And now, Quebec gets to prove it can be the exception not because they're different/better than the rest of Canada, but because they're fucking morons. An explanation:
Are we noticing a patern, here? I think so. Counting the days until Quebec finally seperates… the US can have 'em. I don't want 'em anymore.
Stuck under fubars, politics, rantings by James at 6:25 PM
After quite the time studying, Stats Canada comes up with the ultimate of revelations. People are overweight thanks to their own daily routines. Zuh. It's the queen of obviousness… sap is in a hurry, swings past McDonalds on his way to insert job title here for which he'll be fashionably late for. And suddenly, before you know it… he's gained 5 lbs in a week. Government analyst, meet common sense. Not that I should talk… I've whipped together my fair share of 2 minute meals 5 minutes before I have to leave for work, or wherever else I happen to be going. But I also acknowledge if it wasn't for the insane amount of walking I do on a daily basis–okay, on days wherein I work–I'd weigh a bloody ton. Not surprising. Not unexpected. And not worth taking up space on the headlines for. If people don't catch onto that without the media's help, they won't catch onto it with the media's help. Remember that rule about not believing what you see on TV? Certain folks think it applies here. Good try, though. Now give me back the tax dollars that went to this piece o' crap.
Stuck under rantings by James at 2:59 PM
When me and Trish decided on the weekend gas would hit $2 by summer's end, I wasn't actually being serious. Well, okay, so I'm hardly ever being serious. But apparently someone thought I was making an exception. Oh. My. Freaking. Lord. Thank the gods I don't drive. When I checked on this article earlier, there was reports of upwards of $1.25 in places. Per liter. I dunno… buy a coffee or buy enough gas to at least get yourself home. Which shall we pick? … That's a good question. Someone tell me when we have an answer. In the meantime, I'll enjoy public transit. Has it really gotten that bad?
Stuck under fubars, oops by James at 12:45 PM
A little nod to them there people I like to spy on... I mean read; give 'em a look over. It's good for you.
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